I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
