My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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