I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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