Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
