so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
