I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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