dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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