don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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