nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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