yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
