R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
