currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize