Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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