doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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