And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize