were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
