My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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