oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize