My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
