I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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