We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
