DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
tell me about the eggs
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