To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
