You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
