Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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