Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
