Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize