Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
