you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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