Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize