I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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