So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
