If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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