He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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