I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
