Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
