Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
