I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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