I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
