At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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