yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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