whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
