how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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