I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
