If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
