oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
