Soap is not a condiment
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
