I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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