He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
