one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
