my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm always down for nudity.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
