your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
