I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
