Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
