he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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