Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
