Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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