you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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