Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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