I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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