why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
