She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
